Can't believe it! 2009 already!
Last night just before the clock struck twelve we were discussing our hopes and dreams for the year ahead. I couldn't really think of anything which was really weird for me as usually have I loads. Recently though I believe God has been shaping me and teaching me to trust more in Him. I now refuse to make too many plans. These days I prefer the excitement of not knowing.
This year I don't want security in fact I would be pleased if this year things were constantly changing in my life.
This year I am going to live adventurously. FACT.
I have always loved and embraced change. I think change is important for people. I want to be constantly open to new people, new ideas, new opinions and a changing world.
I think I may have to change a few things this year. Spontaneity is the key yet I have just looked at my diary, its nearly full and we are only on the 1st of January. Great. This is not a good sign.
Busy-ness is not my friend. I really don't like it. To a certain degree it is good but when you have to schedule in times to meet up with friends in a regimented fashion you know you have to cut some things out. This year I think I will have to do that.
Last term I was too busy. If I wasn't running from one meeting to the next, organising endless youth events, going to classes, writing essays, meeting up with people, going for numerous hospital appointments, paying excessive library fines or studying for exams I was slumped on the couch feeling absolutely shattered and wondering what the point was.
This year I need time to be myself. I need time to do what I want. I need time to not be scheduled, I need time to go to random places, I need time to hang out with my best friends, I need time to relax, I need time to reflect, I need time to be creative, I need time to explore new things.
Things need to change this year. Things will change this year I just have to let go.
This year my time will be spent on serving God. Serving God doesn't need to be scheduled. I think for me anyway I serve God best when I have one or two main organised priorities surrounded by a lot of free time. I don't want to have to schedule friends in to my diary. Friendship is worth more than that. It cannot grow from a half hour coffee meeting twice a week. Frienship has to be nurtured and protected. It has to be spontaneous. I need to be available the majority of the time for people who need my help, want to chat, need advice etc.
God has challenged me on this lately.
My first priority needs to be God, I need to examine m heart in everything I do. Sometimes our service to God can be detrimental to our relationship with Him. I heard it said once that 'our problem is not that we take refuge from action in spiritual things, but that we take refuge from spiritual things in action.'
I don't want to be distracted by my 'service' to God that I neglect my relationship with HIm. I want my relationship with him to naturally induce the service. I need an undivided heart that seeks only God,
'Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart.' Psalm 86:11
Faith and works come hand in hand. We cannot have one without the other.
Superficiality is crippling the church. Today so many Christians have sold out to busy Christianity and have said to themselves that it is discipleship even though it is so superficial. We must be aware.
This year I will learn to say 'No'. This is my only new years resolution.
Thursday, 1 January 2009
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Little women
Today has been a lovley day. You know how some days are just beautiful? sometimes there is no obvious reason for it and it is hard to pin point what it is that has made the day so wonderful. Today has been such a day. Harmony, peace, reflection, goodness and well being have been prevelant.
Today my frineds and I watched 'Little Women' together. It is such an amazing and beautiful story. It was almost as if after watching it my eyes were opened in a way that they perhaps haven't been in quite sometime sadly.
Poetry, art, literature, music and other creative medias strive to provide a moment of enlightenment or understanding. Quite often when I look at a painting I 'understand' after a while of gazing. I can't tell anyone what it is that I understand as I can't explain, yet I understand. The brief moment of realisation is what draws me to art. It is a euphoric enlightenment that captivates my imagination and stirs me to creatvity. It is a connection to the artist and to myself that can be difficult to explain. Art provides a space for clarity of thought and reflection, it provides a way of seeing. George Orwell said 'Good writing is like a windowpane' and I completely agree.
Today however, after watching Little women, my heart swelled. I understood immediately and a rare experince occured. I experienced the feeling of enlightenment, yet it was the simplest of understandings to comprehend. My enlightenment was so simple I can explain it, and the enlightenment was not a mere euphoric glimpse but a sustained, developing thoughfulness.
I have no siblings of my own, I never met my brother James and as I grow older the absence of brothers and sisters in my life causes my heart to ache more and more. When watching little women today at first I was sad when I saw the close friendship each of the sisters shared. My heart longed for the same, the friendship between Jo and Beth particularly touched me. For a while I pondered this and dwelt on the sadness of never knowing my brother. Then all of a sudden something changed in my heart. I thought of my best friends who are those who know me better than I know myself. My most precious of friends are my sisters. Though God hasn't blessed me with blood related siblings he has blessed me with sisters who are as family to me.
The closeness we share is hard to explain but is one of the most beautiful gifts in the world. God has blessed me with the best of friends and I pray that as it says in proverbs I will be the kind of friend to them that 'sticks closer than a brother'.
The gift of friendship is never one to be taken for granted. Friends are precious gifts. As friends we bear each other's load, we share in each other's sadness, we protect each other from the world's evils, we celebrate in each other's joy, we persevere in each other's trials and when we try and express our love for each other words are not enough, neither are actions. Our expression of love is our connection that like the understanding of a painting can often not be expressed in words.
"For when three sisters love each other with such sincere affection, the one does not experience sorrow, pain, or affliction of any kind, but the other's heart wishes to relieve, and vibrates in tenderness... like a well-organized musical instrument." ~ Elizabeth Shaw ~
sisterhood and friendsip are gifts that we should never take for granted. We must never become complacent with those we share our lives with. When we lost our friend James nearly three years ago one of the hardest parts of going through our journey of grief was the fact that none of us got the chance to tell James how grateful we were for his friendship. Yet reflecting back, it is obvious we didn't need to. We all know that each of us treasure each other's friendship though we rarely say it. James cherished our friendship and we cherished his, though words that projected such thoughts were only expressed occasionally the 'understanding' was communal. Words were never and are never required. James Main and James Nelson are in heaven just now where love and eternal brother and sisterhood reign.
Friendship is a gift that relects a little of what is to come. United by the blood of Christ as sisters and brothers we will live in harmony one day soon.
Today my frineds and I watched 'Little Women' together. It is such an amazing and beautiful story. It was almost as if after watching it my eyes were opened in a way that they perhaps haven't been in quite sometime sadly.
Poetry, art, literature, music and other creative medias strive to provide a moment of enlightenment or understanding. Quite often when I look at a painting I 'understand' after a while of gazing. I can't tell anyone what it is that I understand as I can't explain, yet I understand. The brief moment of realisation is what draws me to art. It is a euphoric enlightenment that captivates my imagination and stirs me to creatvity. It is a connection to the artist and to myself that can be difficult to explain. Art provides a space for clarity of thought and reflection, it provides a way of seeing. George Orwell said 'Good writing is like a windowpane' and I completely agree.
Today however, after watching Little women, my heart swelled. I understood immediately and a rare experince occured. I experienced the feeling of enlightenment, yet it was the simplest of understandings to comprehend. My enlightenment was so simple I can explain it, and the enlightenment was not a mere euphoric glimpse but a sustained, developing thoughfulness.
I have no siblings of my own, I never met my brother James and as I grow older the absence of brothers and sisters in my life causes my heart to ache more and more. When watching little women today at first I was sad when I saw the close friendship each of the sisters shared. My heart longed for the same, the friendship between Jo and Beth particularly touched me. For a while I pondered this and dwelt on the sadness of never knowing my brother. Then all of a sudden something changed in my heart. I thought of my best friends who are those who know me better than I know myself. My most precious of friends are my sisters. Though God hasn't blessed me with blood related siblings he has blessed me with sisters who are as family to me.
The closeness we share is hard to explain but is one of the most beautiful gifts in the world. God has blessed me with the best of friends and I pray that as it says in proverbs I will be the kind of friend to them that 'sticks closer than a brother'.
The gift of friendship is never one to be taken for granted. Friends are precious gifts. As friends we bear each other's load, we share in each other's sadness, we protect each other from the world's evils, we celebrate in each other's joy, we persevere in each other's trials and when we try and express our love for each other words are not enough, neither are actions. Our expression of love is our connection that like the understanding of a painting can often not be expressed in words.
"For when three sisters love each other with such sincere affection, the one does not experience sorrow, pain, or affliction of any kind, but the other's heart wishes to relieve, and vibrates in tenderness... like a well-organized musical instrument." ~ Elizabeth Shaw ~
sisterhood and friendsip are gifts that we should never take for granted. We must never become complacent with those we share our lives with. When we lost our friend James nearly three years ago one of the hardest parts of going through our journey of grief was the fact that none of us got the chance to tell James how grateful we were for his friendship. Yet reflecting back, it is obvious we didn't need to. We all know that each of us treasure each other's friendship though we rarely say it. James cherished our friendship and we cherished his, though words that projected such thoughts were only expressed occasionally the 'understanding' was communal. Words were never and are never required. James Main and James Nelson are in heaven just now where love and eternal brother and sisterhood reign.
Friendship is a gift that relects a little of what is to come. United by the blood of Christ as sisters and brothers we will live in harmony one day soon.
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Monday, 15 December 2008
Saturday, 6 December 2008
Friday, 31 October 2008
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