a strange dinner

Just eaten dinner. Possibly the strangest meal I have ever had. .....Due to the fact it is my last day in London I refuse to buy any food. Partly because I have no money and partly due to the constant nigglings of my mums previously imparted wisdom or life lessons if you will. That is; never to buy more than you need and never to waste anything that can be used.

Consequently, this is the reason I found myself this evening scouring the barren cupboards for any sign of an edible substance. This morning I emptied most of my kitchen of the crap I couldn't possibly salvage like mouldy butternut squash and sweet potoatoes, transparent cheese - (quite incredible) and an empty milk carton. I then gathered the chosen groceries that were worthy of keeping and put them all together in a plastic bag. In the end I had 2 teabags, olive oil, a tin of sweetcorn, plain cous cous, tortilla wraps, marmalade and 2 petit filous fromage frais.

Its amazing what becomes appealing to you when you have no money and terrible hunger pains. The thought of a tortilla wrap with marmalade was suddenly irresistable. As I ate the tortilla and looked over my bag of possesions I was suddenly aware of my gratefulness to God for his provision. I thanked Him from the bottom of my heart for the tortilla wrap and the marmalade. Feeling somewhat like a tramp with my goods in my bag, I thanked God for what he has provided me with. I felt fully satisfied without a worry in the world. It was a weird moment but made me reaslise something important.

Quite often when we gain more possesions or have more than we need we grow disatisfied, anxious and often covet what other people have. However I feel that in some ways the less we have the more we have. This is a tongue twister but I think that the less we have the more we appreciate what we have. Perhaps this isn't the same for everyone but I know in my case it certainly is. I remembered what George Orwell wrote in his novel Down and Out in London and Paris, one of my favourite books ever. He wrote,
'It is actually true that the less money you have, the less you worry. When you have a hundred francs in the world you are liable to the most craven panics. When you have only three francs you are quite indifferent; for three francs will feed you till tomorrow and you cannot think further than that.'
'but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful' Mark 14:9

Living by faith, that what they call it isn't it? Not planning, not worrying - just serving.